I was prompted by a recent tweet by Joao Mateus on the concept of playfulness and its association with age, in children. The definitions of curiosity are brought up. When we are older, we start to question ourselves, why is it that we Harbor such attributes? When. Currently, it is in this context, that it's not needed. So we question ourselves. Sometimes we degrade ourselves. We look at ourselves in the mirror and we see not a man in the mirror, but a boy. With the facade of a man with a larger body, a larger vessel, one with greater experience and based on present experiences. We have judged our child selves to be irrelevant.
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Transcript
[00:00:05] Norman Chella: I was prompted by a recent tweet by Joel , who has actually had me on his show. The. The modern golden age. A podcast. I'll definitely link it in the shownotes the described below. But one of the things that he brought up was on the concept of playfulness and its association with age. With children. The definitions of curiosity that are brought up.
[00:00:36] And the associations in that when we face these concepts later down the line. When we are older when we are in our twenties, in our thirties, with responsibilities, with bills to pay and kids to take care of and things to worry about and crises to handle. Lots and lots of things are plaguing our mind.
[00:01:03] All of a sudden. Sacrifices have to be made. The child in me isn't needed. To handle all of these responsibilities. All of a sudden, I don't need to worry about, oh, what are my toys doing up until now? What are they talking about? What games can I play right now?
[00:01:26] This is when we start to question ourselves, why is it that we Harbor such attributes? When. Currently it is. This context, it's not needed. So we question ourselves. Sometimes we degrade ourselves. We look at ourselves in the mirror and we see not a man in the mirror, but a boy. With the facade of a man with a larger body, a larger vessel, one with greater experience and based off of present experiences. We have judged our child selves to be irrelevant.
Challenging the definitions of playfulness
[00:02:01] Norman Chella: I would like to challenge that. Handling something like. Childish attributes or attributes found within children. As soon as we see them in ourselves. And we start to question set value. It's a dangerous thinking pattern. I would say.
[00:02:23] I wouldn't be able to reach up until this point. Without that curiosity. Within me embedded within me, embodied within me. This entire time. Their incomes, the thought of one. How has D's definitions change over time as I've aged throughout the decades? And two. What can I do with my memory? What can I do with my childhood experiences that have shaped me to become the person that I am now.
[00:02:58] When our interests have diverged into a direction where we start to think about, you know, a lot more adult topics and I'm not talking about sex and all that. But rather philosophy. Um, self-improvement, introspection. Maybe fields in the world that we have a vested interest in, a passion, an obsession.
[00:03:20] These weren't the things that we were thinking about when we were say nine years old, or at least for me. I wasn't thinking about the podcasting ecosystem. Or the meaning of life when I was nine or eight years old, I was thinking about dinosaurs and world war two. And planes and tanks and wrestling. These were the things that captured my attention.
[00:03:43] What had captured my attention. The answer to that question has changed over time. And with that a, shall we say a distinction of the definition of curiosity. And the pursuit of said curiosity. Throughout the many years that I've lived. So I come to record this. This audio journal, this little recorded piece to myself, and I ask, what can I do for the child in me?
What can I do for the child in me?
[00:04:14] Norman Chella: For most when they haven't had the time to.
[00:04:16] I sit down and have a talk with their younger self day. Say, Hey. Child me.
[00:04:24] What are you doing here? Why are you here?
[00:04:28] You're not going to be helping me with paying my bills. You're not going to be helping me with my career. You're not going to be helping me with researching all these interesting things.
[00:04:38] And I feel that. In the counsel of the mind when we have three main characters, the past, the present and the future, and we'll get to the future in a second. The past and the present are bickering. The present would be starting up fights. And the past would be throwing tantrums. Be getting angry. Would be feeling neglected, abandoned, even.
[00:05:03] Because supposedly or with assumptions the table or the council has approved or accepted that such attributes are not needed anymore. But we can look at this from a different manner.
[00:05:18] If we live in the present, we live in the present with the foundations of the past holding up all of our current things that we're paying attention to. So the child is playing the role of Atlas holding the world. For us as we're walking, amongst the lands, looking at the oceans, crossing the seas, flying through a disguise, and now.
[00:05:46] We see that. The child self has been with us this entire time. Yes, they may not be playing a primary role. Yes, they may not be handling all the decisions. I would not trust my 10 year old self with business, taxes, shit like that. Right. Now we ask ourselves. What is the role of the child within me now?
[00:06:12] And to that I say, There are lessons. I can ask my child for advice. My child self has the curiosity that is unlimited. Unending. Because I've reached out to them and said, thank you so much for giving me the inspiration, the encouragement. To show me all of the rewards. The satisfaction. The glee, the joy of chasing after the pursuits right now. Because I, my present itself. Will now take that. Heed that advice. And pursued the interests that are present now.
[00:06:54] So we go back to the council and the mind there's items being thrown around toys, being thrown around. And now we come to a lull in the moment. Where the present self is tired. Exhausted. But the child can still play. The child can still explore the child can still play the role of the captain. Of the exploration team in the world of the self.
[00:07:22] And we start to see. Specific things come up. Where we are watching. Or where we are seeing. Above. As we are taller than the child, the child can see things from a different angle from below. If you think about it. Children are always looking up. They look up. To adults, they look up to the environment, they look up to the world, they look up to the sky.
They grow according to the answers given to them
[00:07:47] Norman Chella: And they look up to the sky. Waiting for an answer. This is how they grow. They grow according to the answers given to them. By their fellow adults there. Sorry, not fellow, but you know what I mean? Their family members, their parents, their siblings, older siblings, of course their friends. They're teachers. They're mentors.
[00:08:09] And that shapes them up until now. So the present self then. Is an accumulation of the child influenced by years of experience.
[00:08:22] But that doesn't mean we have to kill the child in order to become who we are right now. In order to become a better version of ourselves right now, assuming that as your current pursuit.
[00:08:32] The child still has a role to play. They may take a back seat. They may be. Taking the role of a counselor. And despite their tantrums and their crying's their unending laughter. All of a sudden the child still is there with a seat. At the table. Of my mind.
[00:08:53] So as we explore throughout life and as we explore throughout dreams and worries. THe Present may lose. Uh, his or her direction. But the child was still. Choose to. Without hesitation without a notion of fear without such concepts. Plaguing there. Little child, like minds will push forward.
[00:09:20] So we add more to the council. And eventual goal. Is to have a council of the mind. So grand and flourishing. That we finally meet player three. Our elder cells are older cells. The ones who will exist in the future.
[00:09:41] We're going to find him. We are going to arrive. At where we will be. We are going to arrive at where we are destined to go to. Because it is a group effort. Of the present and the past. So to the child in me, I say, thank you. For being so strange and stupid and. Lacking in hesitation whatsoever, but I also thank you for being so interested in everything.
[00:10:12] To be. So looking for looking for so much joy and all of the things and the proceedings and the perceptions of. All of your environments. Because that has shaped. Me. My present self to add some order in to maintain that, to sustain that. Because only with such habits, can we reach eventually? Up until our greatest forms or our greatest versions of ourselves. And that is player three. That is me. 60 years later, laughing. And all the bickerings, because it's so trivial and so pointless at how I'm questioning a part of me who actually did exist with like evidence, you know, through like childhood photos and all that stuff.
[00:10:58] And in the grand scheme of things. None of that matters.
[00:11:03] The child in me still has a place. In my mind. The child in me still has a place in making decisions to a certain degree. Of course. And the child in me still is willing to play the game of life.
[00:11:23] Living is the best. Or the greatest toy. That the child can play with. And I think. For our present selves, a good lesson, there would be, we should act. Or play the role of an older sibling or a parent. And allow it to happen.
[00:11:42] All of a sudden I'm getting parallels to Kahlil Corazo's notes on. Um, I forgot the name, but it's like the rider and a stallion. Where we must allow a part of ourselves to go ahead with tasks to be done without hesitation. But as soon as we tried to implement some level of control, some level of overwhelming constraint, we become so discouraged.
[00:12:09] We've become tired. We have then imposed said exhaustion that we are tired from onto ourselves because by default, that's what we thought or that's what we believe. Society expects us. Um, to go through, to suffer.
[00:12:28] Suffering then becomes society induced constraints. And the child in me is the answer against that.